Pre-Marital Counselling

You don't marry someone you can live with ; You marry someone you cannot live without...

Marriage is a very important mile stone in everyone’s life as it defines the satisfaction level of your life. If you are in a happy marriage, this promotes your mental health and physical health. Not only that even the next generation will be happy and healthy. SO, marriage plays a vital role in everyone’s life. Being cautious and responsible during selecting a partner is not an option but should be mandatory. We spend so much time planning for wedding but not for planning how both of us can be happy together.

Marriage is a sacred coming together of two people. Not just two people come together, even the families come together. However, marriage has many aspects which many people are not aware of until they are into it. It is said that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. There are contradictory opinions to this statement. However, it is true that men and women both have different physical, emotional, social and sexual needs.

Premarital counselling helps to understand each other as a couple and their expectations from the marriage. It is a therapy which prepares the couples for marriage. The counselling helps to make sure that the two of them have a strong and healthy relationship throughout their life. Premarital counselling helps to improve a couple’s relationship before marriage.

Premarital counselling is a wide term covering many aspects of the prospective marriage. There are hopes, aspirations, fears, expectations and more which both the partners experience before they step into the sacred wedlock. When all these are communicated in a healthy way, it may help the couple to lead a happy married life. Most of the times the couple are apprehensive to express themselves fearing that their views may be rejected or misunderstood. In such a scenario, marital counsellors may help in breaking the ice between the couple and help in their sacred endeavour.

Generally, the below mentioned topics are discussed during Pre-Marital Counselling:

What we do at ThreeWaves

Each session is for about 60 minutes. We have one-on-one session and also couple together sessions. Number of sessions depends on each case: some cases require very few sessions and some require more number of sessions.
Each partner is asked to answer questions in written format to assess the prospective about each other and their marital relationship. The hopes and aspirations when communicated, would enable the couple to mentally be ready to change and adjust with their partners in their respective spaces.
The primary step in counselling is to prepare the would-be bride and the groom to understand the significance of marriage, set realistic goals and develop conflict-resolution skills
Various issues including finance, gender equality, liberalization, women accepting equal responsibility as bread winner, type of family the couple would be in: joint or nuclear, and the demands of the family, demanding lifestyles, stresses and strains of everyday life, children and parenting, etc. will be discussed.
Communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Our focus will be on communication and communication skills required for a healthy relationship.
Compatibility between the partners will be assessed instead of the individual merits. If there are any compatibility issues, techniques and tools will be used for the couple to address and overcome the issues.
To rule out and have the awareness about few psychological diseases which may hamper a healthy relationship.

Premarital counselling is not a sort after service among the prospective couple in our country but there are many instances where the couples break up within few days, months or years after marriage, or have constant disturbance in their lives due to irrevocable differences. If these differences could be addressed before marriage, lot of marriages could be saved which in turn may save the couple and their children from the trauma of breakup and divorce.

Few Tips

Be you, do not try to put your best all the time
Be honest and communicate your feelings
Observe how he/she treats and makes you feel
Discuss about common interest and hobbies
Take few personality tests available on net and get awareness about it.
Trust your intuition/gut feeling.
Talk about the fears and apprehension if any, with a trusted friend/relative or a professional counsellor.