You can stop lot of abuses if you listen

You can stop lot of abuses if you listen…

Today when my client who is aged 43 years old, shared her feelings of restlessness, low self-esteem and always feeling low, I felt the root cause to all this is deep down somewhere. So, we started discussing various aspects of her life.

She is a very pretty lady, happily married with two children. There are no financial worries nor any concerns related to children. She has lots of potential as well as opportunities to start her career but with all those negative feelings that she is experiencing, she is not able to.

She spoke about many things and when we touched upon her childhood experiences, she started discussing her most painful experiences which she had never shared it with anyone.

Can’t imagine the trauma she must have gone through keeping all of this to herself.

She started weeping and telling how dreadful and awful she would feel whenever she thought of the school holidays.

Every school vacation, her mother used to send her to paternal grandparent’s house. One of her uncles who used to come there used to sexually abuse her every time. During that time, she was very young, naïve and was feeling helpless and scared to share all of it that was happening with her.

This continued for few years until she cried and made a big fuss about not going there. And this had scared her so much that every minute with this pain she has lived all her life. Imagine the misery of this lady for so many years.

There are many such stories that we don’t know and how many more are in misery.

My request to parents is, listen to your children and if they make a fuss and throw a tantrum to meet someone or to go to any place, do not force them.  They have something to tell but are saying it differently.

Be there for your child so that you can stop any misery. The biggest myth in sexual abuse is the perpetrators are only the strangers but studies show that most of the times it’s from the known people. So, parents please be aware of this and help your children to save themselves from this kind of trauma.

Tips to heal if you are a victim of sexual abuse.

. This shows the perpetrators ugly personality, nothing is wrong with you. Understand that it’s not your fault. So, stop feeling guilty.

. Tell yourself that during that time, you were helpless but now you are strong and you can protect yourself and heal yourself.

. When you take bath, close your eyes and feel that all the pain, ugliness and everything is washing away with water and you are cleansed.

. Visualise yourself being near any sea and those beautiful white snowy waves is washing away your painful experience and you are feeling relaxed and pure.  

Note: Going for therapy with whom you are comfortable will help you to heal faster.